~ F E E L I N G M A N I C ~

I thought I hadn’t had this feeling in a while, and I wasn’t expecting it any time soon. I don’t know how I’ve got it now, or where I’ve got it from.. it’s normally born from a period of dire insomnia or food restriction.. But both are ok at the moment.. yet still I feel super high, like I can do anything, be anything, confident, happy and chatty to anyone, my usually low “people tolerance” feels heightened (which I love because it makes me kinder which in turn makes me happier) and I basically feel like I’m flying. It usually comes with a bad crash though, although, I wonder if this time will be different..

Anyway, regardless I am very pleased to see I am the Strava female leader (out of only 21, but still, I never lead!) for the “Stockmoor Incline” at home! The record was set over a year ago when I was fitter.. so I hope no one over takes me as I don’t think I’ll get it back πŸ˜‚
#mentalhealthmatters #kindnessismagic #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #depression #eatingdisorders #anorexia #run #runner #running #strava #endorphinjunkie #leader #femalelead #stockmoorincline #somerset 

A simple act of kindness

March
What the hell, March!!?! How? When? What?!

Where has 2 months of 2017 gone already? For me, probably mixed up in a never ending serious of {often} medical appointments; various therapists, doctors, nurses, meds, needles; injections & bloods, osteopath, reflexologist, massage.. and trying to relax… something which does not come naturally nor is it easy for me to do.. I am highly strung and easily stressed – and just thinking about that facts stresses and worries me…!!

On the one hand – 22 days to go until my lovely new car 😍 but I don’t want to wish the time away…

I am still not pregnant. Still constantly chasing up IVF appointments which feels like an unnecessary stress! Not being pregnant means I really do now need to get my backside in gear and get training for VLM 2017! It will soon be upon me and 26 miles is a lot in one run..! So this weekend I will set out on an attempt to hit 15 miles, minimum.. please let the weather be good!

I am still, as always, worrying about worrying and stressing out very easily. Even today when it became clear to me that a simple task was actually not at all simple, I noticed myself welling up in tears about how it constantly feels like nothing I do is ever just simple! I do however, feel like after 6 months on the waiting list – and included within that, another four where I had desperately reached out privately to many therapists – I may soon be about to make mental health progress with therapist(s) – finally… πŸ™πŸΎπŸ™ŒπŸΎ

This evening though, the days unnecessary stresses, anxiety and panic, were put aside within seconds of a simple act of kindness from a stranger [and thinking about it, this has happened to me twice today!] offering me to nip in front of him in a queue (it looked like I’d be quicker – I wasn’t and we ended up leaving together ☠️🀣) . We struck up a little bit of conversation/banter – and frustratingly on my part, I initially struggled to understand his accent; something I’ll probably unnecessarily and stupidly feel guilty about for a long time to come! And yet, I find it calming, humbling I guess, how random, simple conversation can turn your day back around and make all the difference. I feel much “happier” again and calmer as we head into the all important wind down time before bed. And boy do I need that because I am beyond exhausted at the moment; struggling to get up and run in the morning!

Thank you, random act of kindness from random kind stranger(s). x