“DIET”

{Full posting, including from Instagram..}


LOL. S U B T L E as always, thanks mum.. she absolutely cracks me up.. 🤣I’m obviously no expert, and I’m STILL 🙄 not pregnant🤰🏽 😭 BUT, I really think just eating sensibly, a mix of everything (obvs veg, 🥕🥝🍍🍆 vitamins & minerals are most ideal, but don’t JUST eat them!!), listening to your body and not denying yourself anything, is the best way to live.. ttc or not 💁🏽 obviously, following my own above advice is easier said than done…

I have a soon-to-be 20 year, on/off battle with anorexia.. I didn’t have “treatment” as a “child” and I probably won’t as an adult. It seems virtually impossible to “treat” now; it is engrained in every part of my being. It is almost all I have known/can remember. I have had it for longer than I have not. I have grown up (!) with it. It is also probably the biggest route cause for my infertility.. I have to work SO hard to maintain eating sensibly: a healthy, balanced diet. I generally eat quite well/clean, but sometimes, like today, I allow myself a break; I’ve had a huge brunch of waffles and milkshake 🥞 (& boy has it kept me going all day! And.. err.. let’s just say “dinner” hasn’t exactly been too “healthy” or “sensible” either… 😝). In the 18 months-ish I have had to battle myself many-a-time to NOT cut carbs, NOT avoid certain foods, NOT make myself sick, NOT track every single calorie, NOT undereat/burn more than I consume, NOT take 1/2/3/4/an-entire-pack of laxatives, NOT over-exercise and generally, all round, avoid the dreaded word “diet”.. and no, I don’t have a 100% success rate. I have had to gain weight, and I’ve been told I need to maintain it, for a prolonged period (ever), in order for my body to conceive… and then it still doesn’t and it is seriously hard to not go back to that tiny person I much prefer. 

I honestly, (despite needing glasses at times again) can spot the word “diet” on the front of a newspaper/magazine/book from a mile-off and every, single time I make a beeline 🐝 straight for it. I seem to be utterly programmed to just make myself diet constantly.

And let’s not even get started with the “eat well. Cut stress” tagline there, right? Even my (male!) psychotherapist rolled his eyes in disbelief when he heard a doctor had recently said something to me along the lines of “just cheer up”!! I have never felt particularly stressed when undergoing meds, or all the appointments associated with trying to conceive under the bracket of “infertility”, the biggest stress is discovering every month it still hasn’t worked. That is never going to change, no matter what! In fact, I was the least stressed I’ve ever been about it this month, as it meant I can run the marathon; but instead my husband took it worse than me.. I expect to be back to “normal” and stressed and destraught when I discover in approx 3 weeks that once again I am not pregnant; even though I’ve been under no medication or treatment whatsoever to enable that, and obviously running like crazy! 🏃🏽‍♀️

I love my Mum with all my heart. I am not getting at her, or anyone. I’m not ranting at anyone. As always, it’s just my thoughts over spilling (perhaps getting them all out this week means I’ll actually sleep tonight?!). I want/wish more than anything to start my own family 👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻 with my fab husband, and I really wish we had been lucky enough for it to “just happen” – yet still I find it incredibly difficult to not “diet” one way or another, and to be ok with this (perfectly healthy) “weight”. TTC or not, whatever you’re doing, just eat a healthy balanced diet. Just use some common sense and be sensible! Believe me; I know better than anyone that it’s easier said than done, but if I can work at it and battle it, we all can. Have an apple. Have chocolate if you want it. Eat your veg, but if you fancy a burger, then, that’s what you need. We really need to STOP ❌ with the word “diet”, with what you “should” and “shouldn’t” be doing; WE.ARE.ALL.DIFFERENT

 #reallife 

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2 thoughts on ““DIET”

  1. I am completely with you Karen, I cannot stand the word ‘diet’. It conjures up a couple of lettuce leaves on a plate, feeling hungry and continuously worrying about what I’m not going to be eating next. xx

    Liked by 1 person

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