Touchy subject of politics..

ULTRACREPIDATE – to critisise beyond your scope of knowledge. (Basically what I am about to do/talk about doing… πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ‘πŸΎ)

Not gonna lie… this little word vomit blog came to me whilst procrastinating about the epic blog of all blogs that I’d been mid-way through writing for about a week… [eventually posted the other week :-)]
I keep seeing little things here and there on the internet that do my head in around politics. It’s the main reason I don’t really LπŸ‘€K at Facebook any more – I’m tired of all the general sh!t let alone the politics of it. Having said that – this post is inspired by something I saw on Facebook – a friend of a friends status and thread because friend had commented (see why I don’t like Facebook?! Don’t even know the person who’s status it is; so why am I seeing what friend has commented on?! I want to see friend, not friends friends I don’t know!!!) – I’ve gone into more detail in aforementioned epic blog but basically I had a good 40 mins or so 8am and 8pm where it is best if I just lay down with my butt raised (and no, I wasn’t “getting lucky”: James leaves for work at 6.30am..) so I had a LOT of boredom time on my hands, because as per, there is jack all on the TV… πŸ˜’
I feel like, in most part, few of us are really qualified to comment and know what’s right or wrong or get SO extremely opinionated and (in some cases) downright rude about politics. Myself included. Frankly – I don’t think there is any right or wrong way to vote. Voting itself is almost pointless because I think to be honest politicians and all the political parties are largely consisting of lying scum bags (ok, ok maybe a little OTT 🀣), so no matter what you vote (and, particularly as a woman, I will always vote) its effectively pointless. I don’t pay a vast amount of attention to what party wants what and what their manifestos say; I just don’t really understand, nor need the stress right now! To be honest, I think they all have a mish mash of good ideas and things which should and shouldn’t be done to make our country perfect (ok I’ll settle for “better”) [probably with the exception of UKIP (etc)..!] – why one party can’t figure that all out I’ll never know.. perhaps one day I will head up the unicorn party and be done with it… πŸ¦„
I’m not afraid to say that I vote Conservative, with the exception of my local councillor because frankly, he’s brilliant (lib dem). I always have and probably always will vote like that – unless I ever take the actual plunge and go back to uni: but frankly there is a lot I want to study and be an expert at, but in reality don’t have the brain function, energy or concentration levels at the best of times [its taken me over a year and I’m still only 6 chapters into “The Chimp Paradox”]. My parents vote Tory, so I do. Laziness on my part to explore or understand anything else, if you like. It’s kind of all I’ve known and what feels right for me. I don’t think that will come as a surprise to those who know me! I also suspect many others, particularly my age-ish, do the same: either vote or don’t vote however their parents do. I’m not going to get in argument about it, I’m not going to disown friends who vote differently to me, but I am going to raise some questions.. [or, like, question..later]
I don’t believe the Tories make the rich richer and the poor poorer. Frankly it pisses me off when I hear that said; how on earth do people come to that conclusion?! Higher earners are already hit with a higher % rate of tax!!?! To be honest I don’t see why we don’t all pay the same % tax rates – why should those earning more have to pay more? I’m not saying not everyone works hard, (though I’m also not saying everyone does, coz let’s be honest, some people are just lazy and seem to be born with this unaccounted-for sense of entitlement that the world owes them something. Note to those people: it doesn’t.) but there generally tends to be a reason why some people are earning more… I like to use my Dad as an example here. He was a high earner for most of his working life. All of my childhood, and my brother’s. But he paid for it in other ways – he was often away from his family and worked ridiculously long hours. When we were super little and still eager to wake at the crack of dawn, we used to wave him off to work at 6am; often not seeing him at bedtime. As we got older and mornings became harder, but bedtimes still existed, we might not see him for days even when he was in the country. I have a vague recollection of him being hospitalised unable to move due to a pain in his chest when I was around 13 – I can’t remember why but I suspect stress (I expect he will correct me once he’s read this, if he can remember!! … this is making me (sort of, because that seems wrong too?!) hope it’s not another one of those things my mental brain has just made up but never happened..!). Now, I know this was his choice. He thought it was the right thing to do to financially support our family. I’m not saying it wasn’t – my brother and I had a great childhood and never missed out, we didn’t “want for nothing”, and we know still now that our parents will support us [in any way, not just financially] if need be. We have never felt financially insecure, and although money doesn’t make the world go round; it’s nice not to worry about it, because sadly, it kinda does make the world go round. But – why should he have been taxed a higher rate for this? Why isn’t someone earning Β£20k and someone earning Β£100k taxed the same % rate? Why does one pay 20% and the other 40% (or whatever it is these days!) – and, as far as I’m aware, the Tories aren’t planning to reduce that as part of their manifesto – so how are they making the rich richer?! (We’ll ignore probable backhanders and bribes etc from the super rich for now..)
Having said this, I am my own hypocrite because I also think some people earn absurd amounts for literally jack all… namely footballers… Phillip Green (coz I worked for Arcadia for too long and hate him/them πŸ˜‚ plus; BHS pensiongate πŸ’πŸ½) but again… I guess they (footballers) just got lucky with their talent and it isn’t their fault people willingly (although stupidly πŸ™„) pay them Β£250k+ a week…
Anyway, the post that caused this over-spill of thoughts, mentioned that the Tories had voted against emergency service workers receiving a pay rise. Now, I’d firstly like to point out that I do NOT, for a single second agree with this. I don’t know what emergency service workers earn – I don’t know what anyone earns really, but I strongly suspect they do deserve a pay rise. However I strongly suspect there is a billion (or, like 65 million…!!) people out there in the UK (leaving the rest of the world out of this for now) who also think they deserve a pay rise (some probably do, some probably don’t). The post and its various comments went off on one about Tories making the “rich richer and the poor poorer” and how “well done anyone that voted them in” blah blah blah – making out like anyone who votes Tory is an idiot. You aren’t. Because – sorry, but who is paying for all this? I don’t know much, but I know this country is in insane debt. I don’t know how it got that bad or which muppet let it – don’t spend what you don’t have, right?! Don’t live beyond your means?! But that’s what Labour always seem to want to do.. a billion things that cost a fortune.. and, well…who’s paying for it?! 

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Oh yeah – those higher earning, higher taxed Tory voters. But apparently that’s ok…!!!

DesiderataΒ 

Not my words at all. Only seen because my beautiful friend had a print of these beautiful, wise words on her wall this weekend. Couldn’t photograph it very well so instead I’ve retyped it and added it to my own image.

Hubby asked me if that was how I lived/want to live my life. I said yes. He then said I don’t because I don’t give time to the ignorant. πŸ’πŸ½ Guess you can’t win them all! Or perhaps Max was just a little too forgiving… 


Desiderata 🌷

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant β€’ They too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. 

Keep interested in your own career, however humble β€’ It is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is, many persons strive for high ideals and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself β€’ Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings β€’ Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. 

You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. 

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. 

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful word β€’ Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

~ Max Ehrmann

#smileloveandbekind πŸ’• 

Worrying world of filters and edits…

Original image
Two things. Can we just 😍😍😍 how beautiful are these flowers?! πŸŒΊπŸ’

πŸ’–

But, importantly, this (yet another – spoilt this week!!) little blog, is about the situation with filters/no filters/edits/no edits which I noticed when posting “Cute Cottage” picture on Instagram earlier.. [see below] because it was something I had never really noticed before, and it alarmed me to see such a contrast on my camera roll from an “unfiltered” photo… I couldn’t help thinking to myself – no wonder we have generations of people desperate to change what they look like if others are constantly hash tagging “no filter” but editing TF out of their lives….

Original image…
#nofilter … but a tonne of “edits”!

So, with each picture here, the first one is unedited, the second swipe shows me playing around with the brightness/contrast/structure/warmth/colour/saturation/fade/highlights/shadows/vignette/tiltshift/sharpen… yet still enabling me to #nofilter … I used a few different images to “get the gist” across as such, although, ironically, the one with me in – which was my main point and worry about how people’s looks could be edited so far away from the truth – I think doesn’t actually look as dramatically altered (but it is!).

So this all got me thinking about how frequently we hear about boys and girls, men and women having {body} dysmorphic issues.. and I can’t help but feel, suddenly how obvious it is for some as to why.. I am willing to bet there are millions of people out there uploading seemingly perfect images to the internet every day, hashtagging them as “unfiltered” when in reality, all the filters or edit options have been applied. Now don’t get me wrong; I know I am not the only one noticing this lately, and there is definitely a lot of body empowerment and “owning” who you are going on with the use of the World Wide Web (you just gotta look for it, and once you’ve found one, you’ll find a load more) but I just kind of felt the need to write down a quick little blog for anyone out there thinking that their lives aren’t as perfect as “blah and blah” to say: noones life is perfect. Filters and edits exist, and sometimes – often – people only disclose what they want to disclose… I know I can be a bit of an oversharer at times (#understatement 😝) but, as with the main title of my page here – honesty is what you’ll get from me.. because I’m tired of fighting my perfectly unperfect life, mind, infertility, etc, on my own.. here you’ll find me: open, honest, filtered or unfiltered, edited or unedited – I’ll let you know – Karen. 😘 

Dear everyone – please bare in mind that what you see in an image may not be real life. Smile, love and be kind; that’s what makes you beautiful. πŸ’•

Original image

#nofilter … edited!!

P.S… I only discovered the “edit” options because I wanted a bluer sky behind the cottage like there’d been last week when I was too lazy to take the picture… πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

#nofilter but lots of edits!

Rufus 🐢

I love how he sits and watches me, or gives me his paw as the universal sign of “I want that food” or “I want to go for a walk” or “play with me and this toy but you can’t have the toy”. His dad is clearly sat right there, but it’s always me he comes to first for everything. I’m “only” a furbaby mum yet it’s much like having a real child. Dad works all day so mum appears to be the provider of everything.I love how, if he isn’t distracted enough with a good enough treat, he will go ballistic when you try to leave the house without him. Sometimes he’ll greet you excitedly when you return, others he will maintain a grump at you for leaving him.. for a while at least. In particular he seems to know if I’ve said I’m just “running 3 miles, will be back within half an hour” and then I run 5,7,9 or more and am gone longer. That tends to be when he gives off that sense of “you lied” grump. I love how he doesn’t realise how funny I find that.

I love how he somehow knows when it’s nearly time for dad to be home. In the summer he will wait for him by the back gate and sniff expectantly. Always ready and waiting and wagging his tail for James to walk through the front door once he’s parked on the driveway.

I love his sheer excitement for a dentastix each evening.

I love how he licks me when I’m back from a run and my legs are obviously a yummy taste of salty sweat. Or how he randomly just licks me as a sign of affection. I love how he cocks and tilts his head at me, and I love how he has just run up to me hearing this video playing, cocking and tilting his head once more trying to figure out where the squeak is coming from. Or when we FaceTime my Mum and Dad and he appears completely unable to even see the phone, let alone the faces of my parents or Rory his cousin (cockapoo) when they talk to him, but continuing to cock his head at me with a frown on his face.

I love how he is crazy, wild and affectionate. I love how “he” gets me out the door and walking (or at the very least gives me the excuse to, even if he is walked too much!), talking to strangers and getting me through the day(s).

I love how he will never know how much he makes me laugh, even when I’m down and crying. I love how he will never know how he’s a big reason for me to stay alive. I love him, my little-big white ball of furry fluffness. 🐾

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#rufus #labradoodle #furbaby #ReasonsToStayAlive

The Cinnamon Trust.


My heart, is melting πŸ’”
Rufus 🐢 (!) and I volunteer through The Cinnamon Trust (http://www.cinnamon.org.uk/). It’s a charity which looks for volunteers to support “the elderly, terminally ill and their pets.” I have volunteered to walk dogs should their old/terminally ill owners be unable to walk them any longer.

Weirdly, I discovered around 5 months into being with The Cinnamon Trust that my dad also volunteered with them many years ago. Talk about keeping it in the family! πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘§β€πŸ‘¦
It took a few months to first find suitable “client(s)”. Cinnamon Trust tries to find and match people that are close to each other so expenses are kept minimum; as you’d expect for a charity.
A month or so ago I began walking Jaz, a sweet little Jack Russell-Staffy cross belonging to an unwell June in my local village/”small town”. June is lovely – so sweet and incredibly grateful for my help. 
But I don’t do this just for June and others like her – I also do it for me, because I am a typical millennial in every sense and I just have this need and desire to help people – yet being too scared of blood and gore renders me useless to train as a doctor or nurse (as if I was even clever enough!*) and I [currently 😬] do not have the self esteem/confidence/belief to look at training as a therapist {a suggestion from my current therapist}.. Volunteering doesn’t often seem to me as that much of a real nice and decent thing to do – it is essentially pretty easy for me to do this and I enjoy it. I believe I am a mostly (!) decent human being, and it’s my opportunity to give a little something back to society; I believe we should look after each other. πŸ’•

I – like many – HATE(D) paying tax (as it so often seems to go towards those who don’t need or are undeserving) but I am more than happy and willing to help out those who are really in need.
Today, June presented me with this adorable bunch of flowers, hand picked from her own garden, πŸ’smelling – and looking – wonderful as a token of her appreciation for me walking Jaz. Just for me doing something that I feel like is just common decency for me to do! And not only that – I think due to holiday, I have only walked Jaz 4 or 5 times so far! 

I don’t need, or want, or expect any thanks – from anyone – for walking Jaz; she is super sweet and very easy to walk. And, like I said, by volunteering I am already part doing this for the good feeling I get back for helping. It is really no hassle for me to walk Jaz – and most of the time I actually feel like I should be doing more – and even though it’s against Cinnamon Trust rules – I always ask June if she needs anything etc. before I leave. I can’t help it – to me it feels like human nature to do so; to help. I was so touched and, as standard Karen, could have cried! We all know I love flowers 😍! Imagine the sheer elation I then felt when the bee 🐝 landed on the orange blossom as I walked home! It really felt like the world was going round harmoniously in one big hug of humanity. Simple acts of kindness really, really make big differences. I had been feeling stressed (thanks to the idiot bank) and anxiety has been creeping it’s way back in, but after receiving this lovely bunch of appreciation, I felt kind and happy and willing and able to engage in conversation with strangers again on my walk home. I am only sorry I didn’t give June a big hugπŸ€—; next week I will ☺️


I feel sad, and worried, as I often always do when I think people might be lonely. I know the feeling all too well and I hate the thought of others being alone and lonely. I suspect it is more often than not why I reckon I am (self diagnosed!) as quite intense sometimes (soz-not-sozπŸ’πŸ½). Why I feel like I’m harassing people sometimes (some of my closest friends may even join me with in a good laugh here about me not being a “manageable relationship”!!!!!!!!!🀣🀣🀣) – because I worry about them being sad and lonely more so than the fact that I’d appreciate the company too! I am not saying June is lonely – I don’t know her well enough to know if she is or isn’t. I – as I am so often – still feel that awkward stage of being unable to ask people more about their lives. I know – from having seen when collecting/dropping Jaz – that she certainly has an array of visitors; which puts my mind at ease. I really am just a worrier. Often unnecessarily! I just hate to think of people being lonely. Ironically, I am then pretty awkward and apparently incapable of simple conversation which would mean I could make others less lonely…. hashtag, lifeπŸ™„/irony or something along those lines!
Anyway, thank you to June – I really, really love flowers.❀️

*My therapist has asked me to notice when I am being self-depreciating, and I expect a few people that read my blog/posts also feel I should just stop being so negative; but on this occasion, I genuinely am not clever enough! I am not stupid, but not clever enough to be a doctor or nurse πŸ‘©πŸ½β€βš•οΈ! BUT, I do later give myself some credit for a change πŸ˜‰ – it doesn’t come easy to me to do so. It feels weird and big headed. I remember an old Primark colleague once saying to me something along the lines of “if I don’t “big myself” up; you can be certain no-one else will, as everyone else is too busy “bigging” themselves up” – so you need to fight for yourself! πŸ‘ŠπŸΎ

“DIET”

{Full posting, including from Instagram..}


LOL. S U B T L E as always, thanks mum.. she absolutely cracks me up.. 🀣I’m obviously no expert, and I’m STILL πŸ™„ not pregnant🀰🏽 😭 BUT, I really think just eating sensibly, a mix of everything (obvs veg, πŸ₯•πŸ₯πŸπŸ† vitamins & minerals are most ideal, but don’t JUST eat them!!), listening to your body and not denying yourself anything, is the best way to live.. ttc or not πŸ’πŸ½ obviously, following my own above advice is easier said than done…

I have a soon-to-be 20 year, on/off battle with anorexia.. I didn’t have “treatment” as a “child” and I probably won’t as an adult. It seems virtually impossible to “treat” now; it is engrained in every part of my being. It is almost all I have known/can remember. I have had it for longer than I have not. I have grown up (!) with it. It is also probably the biggest route cause for my infertility.. I have to work SO hard to maintain eating sensibly: a healthy, balanced diet. I generally eat quite well/clean, but sometimes, like today, I allow myself a break; I’ve had a huge brunch of waffles and milkshake πŸ₯ž (& boy has it kept me going all day! And.. err.. let’s just say “dinner” hasn’t exactly been too “healthy” or “sensible” either… 😝). In the 18 months-ish I have had to battle myself many-a-time to NOT cut carbs, NOT avoid certain foods, NOT make myself sick, NOT track every single calorie, NOT undereat/burn more than I consume, NOT take 1/2/3/4/an-entire-pack of laxatives, NOT over-exercise and generally, all round, avoid the dreaded word “diet”.. and no, I don’t have a 100% success rate. I have had to gain weight, and I’ve been told I need to maintain it, for a prolonged period (ever), in order for my body to conceive… and then it still doesn’t and it is seriously hard to not go back to that tiny person I much prefer. 

I honestly, (despite needing glasses at times again) can spot the word “diet” on the front of a newspaper/magazine/book from a mile-off and every, single time I make a beeline 🐝 straight for it. I seem to be utterly programmed to just make myself diet constantly.

And let’s not even get started with the “eat well. Cut stress” tagline there, right? Even my (male!) psychotherapist rolled his eyes in disbelief when he heard a doctor had recently said something to me along the lines of “just cheer up”!! I have never felt particularly stressed when undergoing meds, or all the appointments associated with trying to conceive under the bracket of “infertility”, the biggest stress is discovering every month it still hasn’t worked. That is never going to change, no matter what! In fact, I was the least stressed I’ve ever been about it this month, as it meant I can run the marathon; but instead my husband took it worse than me.. I expect to be back to “normal” and stressed and destraught when I discover in approx 3 weeks that once again I am not pregnant; even though I’ve been under no medication or treatment whatsoever to enable that, and obviously running like crazy! πŸƒπŸ½β€β™€οΈ

I love my Mum with all my heart. I am not getting at her, or anyone. I’m not ranting at anyone. As always, it’s just my thoughts over spilling (perhaps getting them all out this week means I’ll actually sleep tonight?!). I want/wish more than anything to start my own family πŸ‘ΆπŸ»πŸ‘ΆπŸ»πŸ‘ΆπŸ»πŸ‘ΆπŸ» with my fab husband, and I really wish we had been lucky enough for it to “just happen” – yet still I find it incredibly difficult to not “diet” one way or another, and to be ok with this (perfectly healthy) “weight”. TTC or not, whatever you’re doing, just eat a healthy balanced diet. Just use some common sense and be sensible! Believe me; I know better than anyone that it’s easier said than done, but if I can work at it and battle it, we all can. Have an apple. Have chocolate if you want it. Eat your veg, but if you fancy a burger, then, that’s what you need. We really need to STOP ❌ with the word “diet”, with what you “should” and “shouldn’t” be doing; WE.ARE.ALL.DIFFERENT

 #reallife 

x

A simple act of kindness

March
What the hell, March!!?! How? When? What?!

Where has 2 months of 2017 gone already? For me, probably mixed up in a never ending serious of {often} medical appointments; various therapists, doctors, nurses, meds, needles; injections & bloods, osteopath, reflexologist, massage.. and trying to relax… something which does not come naturally nor is it easy for me to do.. I am highly strung and easily stressed – and just thinking about that facts stresses and worries me…!!

On the one hand – 22 days to go until my lovely new car 😍 but I don’t want to wish the time away…

I am still not pregnant. Still constantly chasing up IVF appointments which feels like an unnecessary stress! Not being pregnant means I really do now need to get my backside in gear and get training for VLM 2017! It will soon be upon me and 26 miles is a lot in one run..! So this weekend I will set out on an attempt to hit 15 miles, minimum.. please let the weather be good!

I am still, as always, worrying about worrying and stressing out very easily. Even today when it became clear to me that a simple task was actually not at all simple, I noticed myself welling up in tears about how it constantly feels like nothing I do is ever just simple! I do however, feel like after 6 months on the waiting list – and included within that, another four where I had desperately reached out privately to many therapists – I may soon be about to make mental health progress with therapist(s) – finally… πŸ™πŸΎπŸ™ŒπŸΎ

This evening though, the days unnecessary stresses, anxiety and panic, were put aside within seconds of a simple act of kindness from a stranger [and thinking about it, this has happened to me twice today!] offering me to nip in front of him in a queue (it looked like I’d be quicker – I wasn’t and we ended up leaving together ☠️🀣) . We struck up a little bit of conversation/banter – and frustratingly on my part, I initially struggled to understand his accent; something I’ll probably unnecessarily and stupidly feel guilty about for a long time to come! And yet, I find it calming, humbling I guess, how random, simple conversation can turn your day back around and make all the difference. I feel much “happier” again and calmer as we head into the all important wind down time before bed. And boy do I need that because I am beyond exhausted at the moment; struggling to get up and run in the morning!

Thank you, random act of kindness from random kind stranger(s). x

Present Ban; enough is enough.

There is too much STUFF. Too many people. Too many things.

Over the last year or so I’ve noticed myself becoming innately stressed out about “stuff”. We have too much “stuff”. We live in a world where it is easy to buy and chuck out. Although not everyone is as fortunate; I am surrounded by friends and family alike who are fortunate enough; they have a “wealth”. We can buy what we want/need as we want/need it.

I was SO pleased when recently my osteopath shared with me that she had the same views; such a relief to know I’m not the only one feeling hideously ungrateful, spoilt, guilty.

So why do we still insist on presents?

I won’t lie – I do quite enjoy finding, wrapping and giving a good present, but my god do I try and make sure that it is of some use to the receiver. Maybe others do the same for me, but somehow, I’ve accumulated way too much “stuff” over the years and it stresses me out beyond belief. It’s a new, ridiculous anxiety.

I’ve even noticed it now, as my husband is now doing the food shop (occasionally a source of panic attack for me), if he comes home with “stuff” we don’t need I felt my stress levels rising absurdly. We have a beautiful house but it constantly seems to be filled with “stuff” we don’t need and it is causing me ridiculous stress. I have no idea why, and I am pretty fed up of feeling this way, but there is also an easier option; enough with the “stuff”.

I am fed up. I am fed up of the dread that slowly builds over the weeks/months proceeding Christmas/birthday. I am fed up of feeling guilty about being “ungrateful” over receiving a gift that I don’t want or need. I live with an insane amount of guilt, day in, day out, I don’t need this added to it. I don’t need the stress – you might wonder why I’m so stressed about it; I’ve no idea, but I just am.

I’ve said to James for years not to buy me presents – I genuinely mean it; unless it is travel. I’d rather “do” than “have”; and as most of you know, I tend to get my way when I decide it’s time for another getaway! Doing a particular activity/getting away and experiencing the world and what it has to offer to me is far more enjoyable than receiving excessive amounts of alcohol/sweets/chocolate/food/soap (ok maybe SOME soap/bath bombs are nice πŸ˜‰ but where does it end?! Most of you probably think I have expensive taste, but I am more than happy to.. “take”… the free shampoo, conditioner, body lotion, shower gel, given when we stay away and use those up…!)/STUFF.

So, blanket ban. No more gifts, please. Give to charity. Go on an adventure. Friends; lets go to lunch/afternoon tea/dinner/”do” something fun. Creating memories is far more important than infinite amount of “things” that won’t make us happy; and are definitely making me stressed.

Special kind of stupid…!

Is it a special kind of stupid that, unable to sleep, gets up at gone 2am to get other stuff done instead… but of course has to investigate if it’s mud or THAT (elusive) spider from the other night on the doormat… only to find it is indeed THAT spider, bigger than originally thought, thus freaking self out so much that the hoover has now been abandoned on said doormat… spiders can’t survive a suck up the tube can they?! 😱😭😰 

Definitely special, right?! Other than organising myself for tomorrow and wrapping a Christmas present, my plans to avoid-screen-time – but encourage-sleep-time (instantly cancelled as I needed a torch to see around the rest of the house in case of more spiders.. 😰) were going to be getting the last of the bins and recycling emptied and out ready for the morning… however, access out of the front door is now abandoned until husband confirms spider is deceased…! Access out of the back door could definitely result in more spiders… so now I’m back to square-minus-1, as I’m now on the screen… convinced there are spiders all over me.. Genius. πŸ™„

Colouring it is then. (Lesley, if you’re reading this, I’ve now ordered a dot-to-dot…!)

Making a differenceΒ 

Just a short one tonight.. of a story I heard a few weeks ago and still love. Kindness is magic, after all πŸ’•

The Star Fish Story ~ Loren Eiseley

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out ‘Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?’

The young man paused, looked up, and replied ‘Throwing starfish into the ocean.’

‘I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?’ asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, ‘The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them in, they’ll die.’

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, ‘But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can’t possibly make a difference!’

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, ‘It made a difference for that one.’