Cut the crap! ๐Ÿ’ฉ

Whenever I see or hear something sad about dogs/animals I have to scoop my fur baby up for a big cuddle. This is what happened yesterday. Cellulite and all.

Reason for this post though (the cellulite kind of plays a part here), is because I have just overheard a young girl/teenager on the phone talking about some โ€œmiracle creamโ€ – someone had a baby 2 weeks ago and sheโ€™s used the cream non-stop since and her stretch marks are โ€œalmost goneโ€. If the girl had hung up I 100% would have turned around to her and told her the truth.

OH MY GOSH I am so fed up with products being marketed like this. That is WHAT WOULD HAPPEN NATURALLY OVER TIME ANYWAY ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ once youโ€™ve got stretch marks – they ainโ€™t going anywhere (ok maybe they will with some laser surgery or something) – a cream is NOT gonna make them just disappear. Stretch marks stretch and fade over time. As your belly returns to its non-stretched state over time, the stretch marks will reduce and fade. I know this, because not only have I had them on my thighs since puberty, but Iโ€™ve been there with every stupid diet pill and miracle cream there is for cellulite/stretch marks (I never even had cellulite until I was pregnant. My dysmorphic brain just thought I did.) I wonโ€™t lie – I hate them, but theyโ€™re part of life. I moisturise a fair bit anyway, and when my thighs are slimmer [through running] they are fainter. To be fair, theyโ€™re quite faint now (considering how slim my thighs ARE NOT ๐Ÿคฃ). I am moisturising like a crazy person whilst pregnant in a bid to not gain any more – but if it happens, it happens. Theyโ€™ll be a mark of what my body has grown. Iโ€™ll probably still hate them, but at least I got the chance to finally be pregnant and carry our child: something I never thought would happen. I honestly donโ€™t seem much difference in creams being marketed as a miracle cure for stretch marks much difference to that of bloody Kim KW and her stupid appetite suppressant lollipops.

It. Is. All. Bullshit.

Moisturise, exercise, eat a healthy, balanced diet. Get outside and [safely] enjoy the sun. Donโ€™t waste your hard earned cash on miracle BS.

Love x

โ€ข

Food/Eating Disorders/Pregnancy Cravings – we each know our own bodies better.

I was riled, a few months ago, watching a couple of programmes regarding eating disorders – something I always watch if I know it’s on, because I am simply fascinated, still. The first, was the “Wasting Away: The Truth About Anorexia.” And another with Louis Theroux. I remember, whilst watching, that both James and I were gobsmacked – and I have, from experience, a lot more understanding and knowledge of Anorexia.

What I will say from the offset, is that anyone that can be considered a role model should think very carefully about what they are saying/posting, although I believe if you are going to suffer with an eating disorder (or any other mental health issue), you will probably do so regardless of what you see/hear etc. I think you are pre-disposed within your genetic makeup in the same way some people get Cancer, and others don’t. However, I don’t believe the likes of Kim Kardashian (pains me to even write her name in one of my blogs ๐Ÿ˜ซ!) and the idiotic things she – or other similar individuals – say/do/post are going to cause eating disorders in young men/women, but I do think at times they are selling utter shite. If you are hungry, food or drink (not booze people๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿพ!) will suppress your appetite, not a lollipop ๐Ÿญ, ladies and gentlemen. In fact, I am currently eating a Chupa-Chups lollipop and am quite sure that once I’ve finished it, my appetite will no longer be suppressed and I’ll simply move onto another snack..

I seem to have this inbuilt part of me that has this need/want to help and support others, hence why I continue to write this blog.

Mark Austin and his daughter Maddy gave an incredibly open, and honest account of life with anorexia (Wasting Away: The Truth About Anorexia). Everything they both said is the exact kind of situation that happens with mental health illness and destroying families. The exact same happened in mine: anorexia isolates you, it makes you cunning and kuniving and it destroys relationships. Parents – or those that have no chance to understand – are angry, frustrated, exasperated. I hope history doesn’t repeat itself, and when I first started writing this – I was also still hoping anorexia hadn’t entirely destroyed my ability to have an embryo/blastocyst implant and carry a healthy pregnancy/birth/child. Thankfully, I have made it 25 weeks in and everything is healthy so far.

But it still hasn’t been easy. Whilst I am beyond in love with the ever-growing bump attached to the front of me, I am not thrilled with how I currently look overall. I stopped running in order to conceive – and anxiety meant I didn’t try again until we were 13 weeks, by which point, all fitness was lost and I was not in a position to push myself for fear of hurting our much-longed-for, unborn baby. Whilst I don’t doubt from other people’s comments that I perhaps still see myself as larger than I actually am (although believe me, I am heavy now!) my thighs, therefore {to me} are enormous. I have craved, and thus eaten non-stop carbs for the past 25 weeks; foods which I would normally reserve for never due to their ability to make me gain weight just thinking about them. I still live with mental health issues that I fight against daily, that no one can ever fully understand, and thus no one can ever fully have an input – especially if it is unasked for – thank you very much!

Recently, I’ve found people telling me what I should and shouldn’t be eating. People that will never be pregnant are included in this (aka men, or those older who have never wanted children) and I spent a drive home from an anxious hospital appointment a few weeks ago in tears, fuming and thinking about it, and the things I’ve done to my body over the years:

When I was 16, upon waking and realising no-one else was home, I leapt out of bed and ran through to my parents ensuite to weigh myself and see if the scales were acceptable to me yet.

I knocked myself out on a door frame/TV cabinet on the way through because I was so dizzy and fainting. In the 5 days prior to that morning, I had eaten just one apple. Nothing suppressed my appetite, I tried everything to be constantly thinner, and as a result of hunger, passed out.

In 2015, over ten years later, aged 26/27 I spent a month barely eating, and sneaking off to throw up everything I did consume. I taunted and teased myself by joining in with others and accepting free hot chocolate the work canteen was offering at the time – throwing it all up as soon as it was finished. Months later at 27/28 I struggled to push myself – desperately – through a 5 mile run because all I’d allowed myself for three days prior was “juice diet”. “Healthy” green liquid or water only. Less than a mile in I could feel my kidneys in pain, my muscles physically unable to run through a full 5 miles from lack of fuel. And yet mentally, I was livid with myself still. Angry at my body at having to run-walk-run as someone who knew they could usually run for miles on end and love it. You cannot function on nothing. Food, is fuel.

I remember lying to my friends that I’d already had dinner/was eating dinner at home later. Lying to my parents that I’d eaten out with my friends. I remember trying to throw up the smallest bit of cheese I’d sucumbed (BECAUSE SUPPRESSING YOUR APPETITE DOESN’T EXIST!!) to eating off my friends pizza, in the Pizza Hut toilets aged 15. I remember flushing food down the toilet or chucking it in the bin whilst exercising for a minimum of an hour every single day. I remember asking my parents for school dinner money rather than food so that at least I wouldn’t waste the food; because, whilst adamant I didn’t deserve food, I still felt a resounding guilt that I was simply throwing food away when there were – are – thousands of starving people in the world. I remember that I wasn’t kidding anyone. I remember it all too well, for someone who’s memory is largely shot to pieces. How can you forget such hideous self punishment?

Having been diagnosed “Anxiety with depression” aged 26, in 2015, I also honestly believe anorexia/eating disorders are a side effect, a symptom, a coping mechanism for wider issues. When I had my first mental health breakdown in March 2015 I had spent the previous 6+ weeks over exercising, marginally under eating and regularly throwing up everything I did eat. It was something I could control. It was a coping mechanism to deal with my heightened anxiety, my low self confidence and self esteem, it was an outlet, but it kills.

So what I don’t understand now, is how anyone thinks they have the right to tell someone – anyone – let alone someone who has been through what I have – what they should and shouldn’t be eating, when they’ve not asked, but particularly through pregnancy. I believe after all these years I am more than aware of what I should/should not eat in order to achieve weight gain/loss. I also instinctively believe I (we: baby and I!) will crave what we need. This pregnancy, that has NOT been salad. And I do love me a good salad. Maybe, if I’m lucky enough for a future pregnancy(/pregnancies?!) perhaps salad will be craved.

Yes – I am eating a lot of (ok ONLY!) carbs. Just because that isn’t considered an “odd” craving to many doesn’t mean it isn’t a craving, and is just an “excuse” to eat them. I have never eaten carbs like this before – I used to avoid them like the plague. I have never wanted or apparently needed carbs like this before. I can’t remember the last time I allowed myself a jacket potato (rather than sweet potato), or white pasta (rather than spelt). Crisps used to make me feel uncomfortably bloated and thus I would still avoid them even at parties when they were laid out as nibbles. The last time I actually ATE a regular breakfast, rather than drinking a protein shake, or smoothie only, (and after running 3/5/7 miles), I was about 10 years old.

So yes, it’s a lot of carbs. Yes, I’ve gained a lot of weight, no, I am not thrilled about it: in fact if I could take scissors to my thighs to cut off the extra chub, I would. But I don’t think I am massively complaining about it – yes I’m calling myself “fat”, a “beached whale”; that’s how I feel right now, but I say it in jest! I am not going to do anything about it whilst I am carrying our miracle baby. I am not entirely stupid – enough so to think for a second all of this weight will just “fall off” the second the baby pops out. I will have to work at it, hard – but does anyone honestly think this is something I’m not prepared to do? Someone who, when working full time would get up at 5/5.30/6am to run, and spent most days ensuring she exercised twice? Someone who is known to have got up during worst bouts of insomnia and run for 5+ miles at 1am?? I am not prepared to risk something we have wanted, and tried for, for so long. I tried to run to keep off some weight, but it’s not for me – not this time, this pregnancy anyway; it’s too late, too hard and therefore too much of a worry to me to keep trying until the baby has arrived. I have never craved, or eaten, carbs like I am doing now, and so, I believe there must be a reason for this, and for once in my life, I am not going to deny what my body – our baby – is asking for.

I have said time and time again that unless you have physically experienced a mental health issue, you will never fully understand – no matter how much training you have had. I had two incredible (NHS) therapists providing me CBT and CAT over the last few years but for both of them I always felt (particularly the first) that you just don’t really get it until you’ve had it – and I wouldn’t wish anyone to have mental health illness. We all have mental health – some of us are just lucky enough not to have mental health illness.

HOW is it, that 23 years ago – yes, you read that right, TWENTY THREE – the incredible Princess Diana opened up and spoke about her mental health – her eating disorder, and yet here we still are in 2018 with still so much stigma, a distinct lack of understanding, and with idiotic products on the market promising suppressed appetites and “miracle” weight loss to those vulnerable and desperate enough to believe them?

Bigger arms, bigger thighs, bigger bum and bigger boobs. But a beautiful, beautiful, healthy baby bump. Oh, and my “appetite suppressant” lollipop.. which as it happens I’ve just finished… time for crisps!

ALSO:

  • Rufus
  • My husband
  • My health
  • My friends and family

xxx

EDIT – to add the below screen grabs that I’ve had saved on my phone since forever, because they make such valid points! Thanks to AliceLiveing for the words!

Gousto

Wanted to share a little review on Gousto food delivery boxes after I used Susie Verrill’s 50% off two boxes code… I felt like with that discount it was too good an offer not to try!

First meal - LambFirst meal – Lemony lamb meatballs and warm harissa dressing


Let’s just say – I would only use Gousto again with a 50% off code; the meals are 110% NOT worth full price! Whilst they are quite yummy, and reasonably easy to cook, alongside more or less meeting the time guidelines suggested on the cards (unlike Jamie Oliver’s “15 minute meals” but only if you pre-prepare EVERYTHING ๐Ÿคช!!) the portion controls are extremely odd, and bulked out with cheap stodginess (rice, for example) which I am NOT a fan of at the best of times (in my head it should be a higher meat/protein/veg content & less carbs… is that just me?!) – yet you STILL don’t feel particularly full after finishing, or an hour or so later you’re hungry again. James and I both found it incredibly odd (and, having spoken to another friend about it, she too had used Gousto and agreed) that the “meat” side of the meals is barely anything – for example, in our blackened chicken, corn and tomato rice recipe (which was delicious), we shared one, normal sized chicken breast between two adults – I mean, what?! When would you EVER do that?! More chicken less rice needed when we recreate ourselves in future!!

Blackened chicken, corn and tomato rice


Despite my fairly negative review, if you still think you’d like to try Gousto, then please do so using my code which will mean you too get 50% off your first two deliveries.. I do think at 50% off the boxes are much more worth it, and if you know you have a particularly busy week ahead of you, they are quite useful for easy, quick, delicious meals, often (like most recipe books I guess!) with things you wouldn’t think to try – a particular favourite of mine was “sprout mash” with our pork belly, sprout mash and red cabbage meal (I was too hungry to remember to take a picture!!) turns out this is the only way I like sprouts! It worked out quite conveniently for us that we received our first box in the week between my egg collection and our embryo transfer, when I somehow still wanted reasonably healthy food but with absolutely zero effort as I had no energy to cook!

My discount code: Gousto – however, if you’re using then maybe let me know, as they also failed to properly apply the 50% off code to my boxes when I ordered so I had to chase for a refund and an apology!!!

Crispy Mushroom Dal, Coriander Chutney

“Clean”

Do you know what, people? It’s not easy. It’s not easy having a mind filled with anxiety and depression – “severe” at that – at the best of times, let alone dealing with a seemingly never ending dose of infertility too. Many have questioned if now is even the right time to be trying for children (suspect Rufus would be inclined to agree with that right now, because I’ve only just twigged at 4.40pm that he hasn’t actually been walked that much today so no wonder he is nagging me for one!!) – but even my most recent (male; I always think that makes a difference if even a bloke can figure this/me out!) therapist could see that starting our family will likely make a huge difference for me – all I’ve ever wanted and needed to be: a mother. Perhaps I am relying too heavily on innocent children to pull me out of this mind hell hole, but I know – I am sure – they will. And I know I will do everything to stop them from ever having a mind hell hole like their mother. 

This week I have seriously struggled to make my mind think of anything other than those few simple words “I want to kill myself”. It’s not the first time and I don’t doubt it won’t be the last. They bounce around up there in that big empty space (๐Ÿ˜‚) and they struggle to come up with anything else – until, apparently, I manage to actually focus on doing something else, like now (and clearly I’m only half focused on the baking because now I’m thinking and writing it all down before it disappears again!). It’s not likely to happen – those few horrid words – not yet anyway. Not now. Not because I’m “brave” or a “fighter” but because I’m scared. I don’t believe for a second you get a second chance at life, as much as I’d like to, and so for now I have to keep trying until it’s too late. Then, then I’ll worry more about those words in my head, but right now, I’ll be ok. Sort of. Eventually. I’ll manage to see and love my friends and family and enjoy my life with them again but still not right now. I’ll manage to stop crying whenever someone’s asks me if I’m ok or when I try to go to sleep or just for no apparent reason. I’m hoping this weekend will pull me out of all that. I feel better than I did on Monday/Tuesday, but the tears are still coming thick and fast. I still feel raw and very aware and self conscious of myself leaving the house without Rufus or James. 

Baking concentration… start with it all out and put it away as you go along… #ocd

But for now I need to attempt to start eating again, so I can start running better and faster and happier again. Now I need to remember and do what works for me. I need to avoid rubbishy, processed, refined foods that make me feel bloated, uncomfortable and physically and mentally sluggish and miserable. Because that really, truly is a thing. I know that I feel happier when I think I feel slimmer and lighter.. when I don’t feel like I have bingo wings, when my stomach is flat and when my thighs are slimmer and toned with that ridiculous gap from fast(er) and happy running – because I know it’s ridiculous and I know with pregnancy that will all go: but that’s different and “allowed”. Until then, I think it’s better for me to at least feel slimmer and to at least be eating something, even if I am deemed to be compulsive around “clean eating”. The stupid thing is – half of it isn’t even “clean” – it’s just “cleaner” and feels healthier, more natural and thus is enough to calm my daft mind. I don’t want to feel like sh!t and physically and mentally it makes me feel better to eat “clean”. So clean it is. It’s the only way to get “me” back – sparkly karen, unicorn girl, glitter spreader, sun lover. I need her back because the alternative sucks. But, I think we all know a girl still needs “treats” so below there’s some more healthier alternatives I’ve found that are also pretty easy to make!

This is so difficult, because, as I said, I didn’t realise how painful it was going to be to have the knowledge of my failure to conceive once more out in the open, however, I also do feel like the messages and checkins and love and “carry on as normal” and engagement from friends is also more than likely, however slowly, and however many steps I then take back when the mind gets out of control again – helping me get back to my “normal”.. thank you ๐Ÿ˜˜

Ps. Toasted pumpkin + sunflower seeds smells AMAZING – why have I not been eating more of that all my life?! ๐Ÿ˜‹

Pps. How do food bloggers photograph food so well?! #fail ๐Ÿ˜‚

Chocolate Peanut Butter Buckeye Brownies – no, I’ve no idea what the buckeye part is.. I’m not loving them straight out of the fridge (would you normally keep brownies in the fridge though?! I’m just keeping them there as I want them to last and it’s reasonably warm still…!) they taste a little like I’ve added liqueur to them?! BUT if you warm them up for 10-20-30 seconds and add strawberries ๐Ÿ“ and Haagen Dazs Vanilla ice cream ๐Ÿฆ (my fav, and ya, I know, not “clean” [so I’m not totally OCD], but THE BEST!) then they taste bloody amazingly gooey and fudge-brownie-ey goodness ๐Ÿคค also, I always use Cacao, not cocoa.

Chocolate peanut butter brownies of ๐Ÿคค๐Ÿคค๐Ÿคค๐Ÿคค

Mint Chocolate Power Bars Recipe (go easy on the peppermint oil if you use it – I went far too wild on it! I think they’d taste scrummy without it too!)

Mint chocolate power bars

PCOS

Lots of blogging at the moment all… this is just a short one with a link to more info, but this resonates with me – not just because of the *possible* PCOS, but also, because I routinely notice what I eat, drink and how much I move, massively affecting my mood.

So, as seen, I spotted this in my Facebook feed a couple of weeks ago. Link to the article is http://pcosdiva.com/2016/04/8-steps-to-managing-your-mood-with-food/

 If you read my blog, you’ll already know I have fertility issues – I don’t ovulate and present with signs of “atypical PCOS”; Fertility Doctors and Nurses don’t think I’m excessively hairy, ultra spotty or overweight which are the 3 biggest indicators of PCOS.. obviously, whilst I am not actually overweight, I disagree. I think I’m far too spotty for an almost 30 year old, my hair is thick and dark (cool on my scalp, could do with some longer eyelashes and my eyebrows are fine, not cool everywhere else.. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ) and feels like it grows excessively (though I don’t get it on my arms, I have some odd random hairs on my tummy between my belly button and pubic line, which appear to lighten/disappear as I tan {?!} and I don’t need to wait the suggested month before getting waxed; I look like a gorilla ๐Ÿฆ within 2 weeks) and, as we all know, I think I’m too fat/too heavy/never happy with my weight and constantly measuring and fighting it. I do however, have A LOT of tiny follicles on my ovaries at any given moment; they just don’t seem to want to do anything, hence the question mark around whether I have PCOS or not. I don’t seem able to get a definitive answer either way. Frankly, I’m not consciously that caught up in it.. as long as I just hurry up and conceive with the fertility treatment and help we are receiving…! ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป

I do, however, present with mood disorders. All of those mentioned above actually. I was finally diagnosed in 2015 with Anxiety with Depression, which, from that diagnosis and on understanding now (thanks therapy!) has made me realise that anxiety and depression were the umbrella for the anorexia I have suffered on and off for nearly 20 years. Anxiety and depression are the cause; anorexia is the effect, if you like. Anorexia is the release, the “control”, the symptom. I am a healthy weight. I do not look anorexic. However, whilst I would and will frequently deny it until I am blue in the face, I know it still resides within me. I do compulsively exercise. I do frequently watch what I eat. I do weigh myself far too often; sometimes this results in a late night run to shift some pounds [yes, a combination of insomnia and needing to be skinnier has seen me run at midnight, 1am, 5am…] And I do “allow” the thoughts of being too fat and needing to stop eating and start moving to consume me more often that not.

Anyway, my point, of this “was-supposed-to-be-brief-now-quite-long” blog, is that, whilst I am not intolerant to food in general; I have no wheat allergy, or lactose intolerance, I don’t have Crohn’s disease and I can comfortably eat mostly whatever I want [mostly because there is definitely some things what will cause hideously uncomfortable IBS symptoms, but other than crisps which I routinely avoid, I am unsure of what, why or how/when!] BUT, and it is a big but (mine ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚!) I am fully aware that if I follow a path of what is considered “clean eating” although in reality is just what we should ALL be eating – what our ancestors ate – I feel a million times better than when I don’t. Now I do and will in the future take vitamins and supplements in tablet forms, but part of me thinks – our ancestors didn’t do this; so why do we? If we eat a healthy, balanced diet then surely that should be enough? I’ve been known in the past to be a fainter, or get “shakey” – and as the above linked article mentions, drops in blood sugar levels are likely responsible for most of this.

 I often bake or “no-bake bake” sweet treats from “natural” ingredients; because I do have a sweet tooth, but eating everything the supermarkets has to offer leaves me feeling fat, miserable and energyless. So there is definitely something to be said about refined sugars, too many [white in particular, for me] carbs and drinking enough water. So for me, minimum 2Litres of water a day, more fruit and veg, less carbs, especially white. I am not vegetarian, so I eat meat; but I also eat quorn mince at times because you can’t taste a difference by the time you’ve turned it into a spag bol/chilli con carne! I have also found that spelt pasta works best for me. It just means I can eat it without feeling energy zapped and bloated. Who knows why, and I don’t go to a restaurant demanding changes or spelt pasta etc (ok I lie, but slightly different; normally I can’t make a decision on one meal so combine bits of 2.. as done for breakfast at Kings Weston House cafe in Bristol last weekend .. I’m a delight ๐Ÿ˜‚! Cheers though guys!) and I just generally seem to have [mostly..!] gone off chips and prefer sweet potato chips ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿฝ but I don’t think I’m a complete nightmare customer.. just a piggy ๐Ÿท! Today for example, I am about to finish up some (beef mince) spag bol but with Sweet Potato/Butternut Squash noodles rather than pasta.. easy way to get more veg in, plus they are quite carby really ๐Ÿ˜! I also, when making the spag bol had juiced as well – as ages ago I read about using the pulp [note to self; try not to juice the limes/apples/ginger/turmeric into spag bol… ๐Ÿ™„] in spag bol-typed-meals rather than just throwing it away like I used to.. so we got some extra fibre in there too! [the juice is because I often cannot seem to quench my thirst at the moment and that has always been good in the past! A lot of people think I’m crazy and that it looks gross, but I like it and it works for me. I start every day with a smoothie for breakfast.] 

Now, I know you guys aren’t stupid, so take everything with a pinch of salt. There are hundreds of articles and information everywhere about what works and doesn’t work. One week coconut oil is the holy saviour of all life and perfect hair and skin and figures, the next its back dumped in the corner being told it will kill you. Do what works for you. We are all individual and unique, no two of us the same no matter how identical you appear – what works for me may not work for you. If 3 meals of McDonalds a day works for you; great for you (& McDonalds ๐ŸŸ I expect!!) But because I over-worry and over-care about everyone, I just want everyone to be and feel their best, and I know this works for me. 

Don’t get me wrong, panic attacks aren’t the only reason I avoid supermarkets. Sometimes I have the willpower to top all willpowers, but others (and this seems to be common recently: I blame all the meds and extra hormones) I just cannot avoid ALL the ice cream, all the Krispy Kreme’s or [Sainsbury’s*] jam doughnuts and I binge (and no, just no – it is very, very rare that I make myself sick after any food [anorexia]. I can’t remember the last time, but I’m fairly sure it hasn’t happened this year. Maybe not even last year.. ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ) just like the rest of us – comfort foods. It is a wonder sometimes that I don’t have Type 2 Diabetes. But eating like this, my body and mind becomes zapped. And I hate feeling that way. I hate feeling like I have no energy for anything: depression does that all by itself so I don’t need to aid it in anyway. Instead, for me, “clean eating” just works. And it works even more so now that spiralzing veg is accessible; either DIY or purchase in the supermarkets. So scrummy! Almond flour in my house is vast replacing plain white flour; “worst case” I tend to use wholemeal: you often cannot tell the difference. Sugar treats are replaced with more natural sugars from fruits or honey. Which leads me to the point of this blog – because my lovely, err… sister-in-law-to-be-but-they-aren’t-engaged (๐Ÿ˜…) brought me these amazing home-made snacks recently and oh my gosh, they taste like healthier versions of snickers ๐Ÿ˜ so here, lovely people is the receipe. Not my recipe, not my “fake”-sister-in-laws; she found online and shared with me, and I just feel like the world needs to have these in their lives! So simple and easy to make. Happy Karen. ๐Ÿ‘ฐ๐Ÿฝ (why is there no Princess emoji!!?!)

~ side note, I also used Cacao Powder rather than Cocoa Powder because I had no Cocoa left, and I’m happy to report they don’t taste super bitter so are also that little bit more “clean” ๐Ÿ˜€ http://12tomatoes.com/healthy-sugarfree-cookies-nobake-chocolate-oat-cookies/

TASTES LIKE SNICKERS ๐Ÿคค(gutted the recipe didn’t make more!!)

And because it makes me happy, here’s a couple of my other favourite “sweet treat” easy to make healthier, cleaner, energy providing-rather-than-zapping, recipes – all found online or sent to me by friends ๐Ÿ’•

https://blog.kitchenaid.com/fig-and-almond-energy-bites-recipe/ (These are perfect for a quick, pre-parkrun “breakfast” as I don’t normally find the time, or particularly need or like to eat much before a smaller morning run)

Fig/Date/Almond/Peanut Butter energy balls

https://deliciouslyella.com/2015/08/15/raw-chocolate-orange-brownies/ (According to a friend who had no oranges, but lemons/limes in stock at hers, they work just as well and sound delightful!) here’s my most recent batch:

Deliciously Ella chocolate orange brownies

A couple more things I feel the need to highlight:

1) stored in an airtight container in the fridge, these all last absobloodylutely AGES ๐Ÿ˜

2) switch in and out ingridients as you need/please. I.e. I rarely buy almond butter because I prefer peanut, I keep cacao rather than cocoa because of the raw, more natural content – it all works and tastes yummy ๐Ÿคค

*Sainsburys are the best. Don’t even bother bringing me Tesco own brand jam doughnuts ๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿคฃ but probably, for the sake of my health, just don’t bring me any jam doughnuts ๐Ÿ˜‚
Edit – P.S. I meant to add this, but ladies – if you are recently diagnosed PCOS and feel all doom and gloom, don’t. I have SO many lovely stories of young ladies (friends of friends, old colleagues, etc) diagnosed with PCOS who’ve then stopped all contraception and conceived without trying. Or been told after their first that they have PCOS (not sure if it can “suddenly” develop?!) I’m not saying this will happen for you, but, just to say; it’s happened. 

#PCOS #Fertility #FertilityAwareness #Infertility #InfertilitySucks #InfertilityAwareness #OvulationInduction #IUI #IVF